OYM day 87: Genie In A Bible

When you pray, if you pray, what does it look like? Are you praying to a person or a power? Does it take a physical shape in your mind?

Ever since I was little, I knew to pray. I attended church, Sunday school, and summer bible school (even church camp once or twice). But if those humid Sunday mornings taught me anything, it’s to ask someone or something greater than me for clarity when I need it.

I pray now as an adult, but to the cosmos. I pray to an all-knowing power outside of our Universe, something we aren’t able to grasp or understand as humans. But when I close my eyes or look in toward my core, the image I pray to is still the same.

And it’s weird.

In my mind, I see a person that looks like Jesus, but it’s hard to make out if this person is a man or a woman. They have long brown hair and facial hair, but soft feminine eyes and nose. This person is wearing all white, similar to pictures of Jesus, but is sitting cross legged on a pillow and seems to have a very slight build. The pillow is floating like a magic carpet and a blinding light emanates from underneath it.

I think as a child, I was probably really bored, kicking my legs back and forth in a church pew, having exhausted the little sermon slips of paper by passing scrawling notes back and forth to my sisters. And while I was fighting sleep and the urge to slip out the door under the slacks and skirts of the congregation, I made a very detailed image of a Genie Jesus that would ultimately stick with me for life.

Genie Jesus doesn’t talk to me, but will often shake His/Her head very slowly at me. Yes or no. And the feeling I always get from Genie Jesus is that I know the answer to my question already. It’s almost like He/She is eternally saying “if you have to ask…”

I think what I really must be doing is checking in and talking with my heart. But doesn’t God live there? Or some higher power? That’s where my Genie Jesus communicates with me. It’s never in my head or anywhere else. It’s smack in the chest.

What do you see when you pray? I’m curious to know… And if it’s a Genie Jesus, well, we should probably talk.